Online IFS Therapy in North Dakota & Minnesota
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic approach that views the mind as made up of different parts, much like a family. Each part has its own feelings, beliefs, and roles, often developed in response to past experiences. In IFS, you’ll explore these different parts to understand how they influence your thoughts and behaviors.
The goal is to create harmony among your parts, helping you connect with your true self and heal from emotional struggles. This approach fosters self-compassion and helps you find healthier ways to cope with challenges.
How IFS Works
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a type of therapy that helps you understand and heal the different parts of yourself. We all have different "parts" that make up who we are—like the part that feels confident, the part that feels anxious, or the part that might get angry. Sometimes, after difficult experiences, certain parts of us take on extreme roles to protect us, which can cause internal conflict and emotional pain. IFS helps you connect with and heal these parts, so you feel more balanced and whole.
Step 1: Getting to Know Your Parts
In IFS, we begin by identifying and understanding the different parts of you. These parts can include those that feel anxious, critical, or hurt, as well as those that try to protect you from difficult emotions. We talk about these parts as though they are members of your internal "family," each with its own role and purpose.
Step 2: Recognizing the “Self”
IFS is based on the idea that we all have a core “Self,” which is calm, compassionate, and wise. This Self is capable of understanding and healing the different parts of you. Throughout the process, we work to help you connect with your Self so that it can lead and take care of your parts.
Step 3: Listening to Protective Parts
Many of your parts, especially those that might seem negative or unhelpful (like anger, self-criticism, or avoidance), are actually trying to protect you from pain. We take time to listen to these protective parts to understand what they’re trying to do for you. Rather than pushing them away, we get curious about their role and the burdens they’re carrying.
Step 4: Healing Wounded Parts
Once the protective parts feel understood, we work on healing the parts of you that are holding onto pain from past experiences, which IFS calls "exiles." These parts often carry the heaviest burdens, like feelings of shame, fear, or sadness. By accessing your Self, you can offer compassion and healing to these wounded parts, helping them let go of their burdens.
Step 5: Restoring Balance
As the wounded parts heal and the protective parts feel less extreme, the different parts of your internal system can start to work together in a more balanced way. This allows you to feel more at peace and in harmony with yourself, and better able to navigate life without inner conflict.
Who Can Benefit from IFS?
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Individuals with Inner Conflict: If you often feel torn between different emotions or desires, like one part of you wanting something and another part holding you back, IFS can help. It allows you to better understand these internal conflicts and bring harmony between your parts.
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People Struggling with Self-Criticism: For those who experience harsh inner criticism or constant self-judgment, IFS helps you connect with the part of you that’s being critical. Instead of fighting this part, IFS teaches you to understand its protective role and helps you transform it into a more supportive inner voice.
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Adults with Trauma or Emotional Wounds: If you’re carrying pain from past trauma, IFS helps you heal by addressing the parts of you that are still holding onto fear, sadness, or shame. It’s particularly useful for trauma survivors, as it focuses on healing the wounded parts while providing support and care from your Self.
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Those Who Feel “Stuck” or Unmotivated: If you’re feeling stuck, procrastinating, or unable to move forward, IFS can help uncover the parts of you that might be blocking progress. These parts may be trying to protect you from failure or disappointment. IFS gives you tools to understand these blocks and work through them.
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Individuals with Relationship Difficulties: If you often feel disconnected in relationships or struggle with trust and intimacy, IFS can help by identifying the parts of you that are scared, defensive, or avoidant. By understanding these parts, you can improve communication, trust, and emotional connection in your relationships.
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Adults Experiencing Low Self-Esteem: If you struggle with feelings of unworthiness, IFS helps you address the parts of yourself that carry beliefs like "I’m not good enough" or "I’m a failure." By working with these parts, you can shift to a more compassionate, empowered view of yourself.
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People Seeking Personal Growth and Self-Understanding: Even if you’re not dealing with a specific mental health issue, IFS can be valuable for anyone looking to understand themselves better. It allows you to explore different aspects of your personality, bringing more balance and insight into your life.
